It’s about them. It’s always been about them.
I know that comes as a shock to you, but it’s true.
One of the greatest qualities that you can develop as a leader, or as a team member, or as a consultant, or as a friend, or as a spouse, or …, well you get my point – is humility.
Merriam-Webster defines humility as the quality of being modest, respectful, or humble. Humble is defined as modest and unassuming in attitude and behavior; feeling or showing respect and deference toward other people; not proud or haughty; not arrogant or assertive.
This definition may sound wimpy or weak to you. Au contraire, my friend! Humble people are those who actually have great inner strength. They are so secure and confident in their own abilities and worth that they don’t need constant approval or limelight.
As a leader, your job is to get the work done through others. By the way, management and leadership are not one and the same. Managers manage things, processes, systems, resources, etc. Leaders inspire, engage, and influence people. Leaders have followers who want to give their best effort. Successful leaders cause people to choose to perform at their best.
Try these four strategies to practice humility in your business communications:
- Try being more interested in the other person than you are in yourself. Ask questions, and show a sincere interest in what’s going on in the other person’s life. Notice I said sincere. People can spot a phony baloney a mile away. Faking interest in someone else just so you can get something you want borders on manipulation, and that is definitely NOT what we’re talking about here!
- Admit you don’t know everything. This can be harder than apologizing or admitting you’ve made a mistake. Allow someone else to have the answer. Be open to learning from everyone, regardless of their title.
- Let the other person shine, be the star. It’s not about you and your accomplishments. Your job is to draw out what was left in, not to put in what was left out. Prepare your team members for success and then step out of their way and let them shine.
- Look for ways that you can be of service to others. Listen, really listen to what people say. Note their interests, concerns, and anything else that you learn about them. Keep your ears open for ways that you can help them or connect them to someone else who can fill a need.
Case in point:
I recently met someone at a professional association meeting and enjoyed chatting with him for several minutes. By the time we parted, I knew his name, where he lives, his educational background, what he does professionally, where he met his wife, and how long they’d been married! Two months later he was the featured speaker at another association meeting, where he spoke on the importance of humility and authenticity in leadership. Later, he asked a colleague my name and wondered aloud if we’d met before. He had no memory of our conversation! That’s because it had been all about him. He didn’t ask any questions about me, nor did he give a hoot about me. By the way, his presentation went over like a lead balloon. Like I said, people can spot a phony baloney a mile away.
Taking a piece of humble pie is about being able to forget yourself and focus on lifting and developing others.
Take Action! What will you:
- start doing,
- stop doing, or
- continue doing
to develop more humility in your daily communication with others? Use the comment box below and share your plan with us!
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You might also like:
7 Ways Leaders Can Prevent Employee Disengagement
For Leadership Success – Give Your Power Away
8 of the Best Kept Leadership Communication Secrets
Jennifer Ledet, CSP, is a leadership consultant and professional speaker (with a hint of Cajun flavor) who equips leaders from the boardroom to the mailroom to improve employee engagement, teamwork, and communication. In her customized programs, leadership retreats, keynote presentations, and breakout sessions, she cuts through the BS and talks through the tough stuff to solve your people problems.
