I guess it’s no secret that women often have a hard time saying “no.” Maybe that’s because we’re natural born people pleasers. Maybe it’s because we’ve been conditioned by our families, society, and I don’t know, Marge Simpson, to put others’ needs before our own. Heck, I’m not a psychologist and I don’t play one on TV, so I don’t know the reason why women seem to have a harder time saying no, we just do.

But what we all need to remember – present company especially – is that with every “yes” that comes forth from my mouth, I am saying NO to something else. Saying “yes” to that promotion that includes a lot of travel, will likely mean saying “no” to having additional time with family or friends. Saying “yes” to cat-sitting for your friend over the weekend may mean you have to say “no” to participating in that cool Toe Wrestling Championship you’ve been wanting to enter.

Because, ya’ll despite popular belief, you can’t do it all. Well, let me re-phrase that. I guess maybe you can have and do it all, just not all at the same time. So that means you have to decide what you will say “no” to so that you can say your best “yes” – yes to your best option.

Did you know that the Latin origin of the word “decision” literally means to cut off? When you make a decision you cut off other options or choices.

As a woman leader, it is imperative that you become really good at making firm decisions and sticking with them. Unless you want to be like a pinball bouncing from one demand to another, you need to be able to say “no” to some requests and opportunities.

It reminds me of my Mimi – my grandmother. She used to say

“Mais cher, you better be careful what you pray for, you just might get it!”

Mimi’s wise words continue to ring in my ears and I’ve tried to live by them.

The best way I know for you to be able to say your BEST YES, is to be really really intentional about how you want your life to look and what you really want to do. And the best way for you to do that is to take a step back. Zoom out to see the BIG picture. The end of the year and start of a new one is a great time to do that.

Set aside a couple or a few hours, grab a journal, and disconnect from email, social media, (or as my husband says, “slap fire”), and just spend some time thinking and journaling.

Ask yourself:

• What are my values and non-negotiables?
• What are my greatest gifts/talents/skills, and where can I make the greatest contribution?
• What do I want MORE of and what do I want LESS of?

Allow yourself some time to process all of this because what you will end up with is a decision making guide. Use this guide to help you to make a decision as to what will be your best yes and what do you need to say no to. So, using my earlier example, you would look at your list and see that you actually want MORE Toe Wrestling Championships in your life, so you would make the easy decision to say “no” to cat sitting for your friend.

If you’d like less stress and more sanity in your life and/or if you’d like help with this process, subscribe to my channel so that you can be notified when new videos are posted and then stay tuned as I will be launching new programs geared specifically for you – women in leadership.

Attention ladies: If you could benefit from a community who gets you, who could help you, and support you through the challenges of being a leader, email me to hear more about my new program called THRIVE!

You might also like:

Leadership Team Accelerated Results Program

Stay Home From Your Next Leadership Conference

Why Your Employees Should Stop Thinking Like Employees

Jennifer Ledet, CSP, is a leadership consultant and professional speaker (with a hint of Cajun flavor) who equips leaders from the boardroom to the mailroom to improve employee engagement, teamwork, and communication.  In her customized programs, leadership retreats, keynote presentations, and breakout sessions, she cuts through the BS and talks through the tough stuff to solve your people problems.