I just got back from speaking to a women’s group in New Orleans, and before I even took the stage, the organizers asked this icebreaker question:
“What obstacles did you have to overcome to become the woman you are today?”

And listen… the stories just from the women at my one little table?
Whew.
They looked polished, confident, bossed-up — but underneath?
They were carrying things most people never see.

And it hit me:
Everybody is going through something.
Everybody.

We forget that.
We see someone’s behavior, one expression, one off comment, and suddenly we’re Judge Judy AND jury.
“Bless her heart, what is wrong with her?”

But maybe nothing’s wrong.
Maybe she’s carrying grief you don’t know about… stress that’s eating her alive… a family situation she’s holding together with duct tape, kite string, and a prayer.

And we’re over here being Judgy McJudgery because she didn’t smile big enough in the hallway?

Here’s the leadership reminder that smacked me right between the eyes:

Grace costs you nothing.
Judgment costs you connection.

So as we head into the holidays — when everyone is juggling 47 things — let’s lead with a little more grace.
Give people the benefit of the doubt.
Assume they’re doing the best they can with what they’re carrying.

And while you’re at it…
extend some of that grace to yourself, too.
Because you’re carrying things as well.

Alright y’all — go easy on each other.
And if you can, go easy on yourself.

If this resonated message with you, let me know. And if you want more real-talk leadership nuggets like this, make sure you follow along on social.