Okay now that I’ve got your attention…Just joking. I know that you’re a vurry vurry bizzy leader with lots of things to do, places to go, and people to see. But I’d like to propose another list that, GASP, may be even more important than your to-do list.
The list that I’m referring to is your “To-Be” List.
The fact is – precisely because you are so very bizzy, and you scurry from one thing to another, you may sometimes fail to be conscious of how you are showing up for people. You might, as my mama would say, “go off half-cocked.”
Most leaders measure their success or failure or at least their productivity by how many check marks they have on their to-do list at the end of the day or week. And I get that, believe me, I do. (I like to make my check marks in red so I can see at a glance that I got a lot done. Can you say Overachievers Anonymous?)
But let me ask you, what typically keeps you awake at night or continues niggling at you once the day is done?
For most people, it’s the words they said that they wish they could take back, or it’s their “losing their sh*t” when things didn’t go as they expected or wanted with a team member.
You see, when you’ve got your head down, hustling and grinding, you often don’t have the time or capacity to be strategic or thoughtful in your response to the things happening and swirling around you… unless of course, you had set the intention beforehand for how you wanted to BE in those moments.
The most influential leaders realize that hope is not a strategy, and they don’t rely on self-discipline to direct their behavior in crucial moments. They are very intentional about it. They have put in effort to develop their self-awareness and work to continue to develop it. They’ve identified the situations (and people) that tend to press their buttons and they plan for how they want to BE when those situations come up.
So what would that look like? Here’s my suggestion: On Sunday evening, (or the beginning of your work week), think about who you want to be in the coming week – both at work and with family and friends.
List out these behaviors:
- Do you want to be more present for team members instead of head down in your phone?
- Do you want to be more patient with your kids, S.O., family, or friends?
- Do you want to ask more questions to understand more clearly instead of flying off the handle?
- Do you want to keep it real – admit your own shortcomings, and in so doing earn more trust with your team members?
- Do you want to practice better self-care so you aren’t running on an empty battery?
Then go on and rock your to-do list, red check marks and all! But keep your To-Be List handy and check in with it throughout the day to keep yourself focused.
At the end of each day, review your To-Be List and reflect on how well you did. And remember, tomorrow you’ve got a blank slate, so regardless of how well you did today, recommit to practicing these behaviors and to being the kind of leader that others choose to go along with.
I’d like to challenge you to try this as an experiment for a month or even a week and see if the quality of your interactions improves. I predict that they will. And your team and family and friends will appreciate even the subtle changes in your behavior.
I’d like to hear from you! What will you put on your own To-Be List?
If you find these tips helpful, be sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel so you don’t miss any future videos.
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Jennifer Ledet, CSP, is a leadership consultant and professional speaker (with a hint of Cajun flavor) who equips leaders from the boardroom to the mailroom to improve employee engagement, teamwork, and communication. In her customized programs, leadership retreats, keynote presentations, and breakout sessions, she cuts through the BS and talks through the tough stuff to solve your people problems.
Photo by Emma Matthews Digital Content Production on Unsplash
