I’ve been experiencing some personal challenges and I thought I’d share a bit about what I’m learning in the process in the hope that mayhaps it could help you.

We just laid to rest my eldest sister who passed away from a brain tumor. She had struggled for years, so her death was a release and a relief, because she didn’t have much quality of life. 

While I believe that her passing was merciful, it was obviously still very sad. 

We hosted a celebration of life reception afterwards at my house, and had lots of family and friends come over to eat, drink and reminisce. 

 In talking to siblings and cousins, a common theme that I heard, was “Dang time flies … we need to get together more often!” OR “I never meant to let this much time go by,” or “I regret that I haven’t made more of an effort to keep in touch.”

One cousin and I pledged to be co-captains in planning a family reunion for our 30+ first cousins and their families. (Uh-huh. You heard me right. I’m grandchild #30 something and I’m not the youngest grandchild on my mama’s side. Can you say big Catholic family?)

I’m sharing all this with you because I know how easy it can be to lose touch. To let time – years go by, where relationships – and even dreams – slip away.

I don’t want that to happen to you, and I don’t think you want it either. 

Remember the Chinese proverb that says: “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”  

This means that if you want to have deep relationships, success, and a meaningful legacy in the future, the best time to act is now.

And I know that we all hope that we have a positive impact on the world. No one wants to get to the end of their career or life and have regrets. 

But let me break the news to you gently, sista… 

“Hope is not a strategy.”

If you want to create a garden, you want to start with a clear vision. What kind of plants or flowers or fruits or vegetables do you want to enjoy?

You know the adage – You reap what you sow!

If you want tomatoes, you need to plant tomato seeds or seedlings. 

The same is true for your legacy. One of the traps leaders often fall into as they strive to achieve results is focusing on what they DO rather than who they need to BE.

While both are important, deciding who you want to be – for your team, your family, friends – sets the stage for success. It acts as a compass or north star that both anchors you in the present moment while also guiding and propelling you forward. 

Stephen Covey talked about “Begin with the end in mind,” and I have found that this is a powerful practice.”

Last year I set the intention to invest in rekindling old relationships and creating new ones. I set the intention to create these moments and even went so far as to color code friend calls and get togethers in my calendar as tangerine. As we were sitting and sipping for the first time in ages, I shared this process with my childhood friend, and she said “I’m so glad to be your tangerine!”

So, my challenge for you today is to really consider who you want to be, how you want to show up, and what legacy you want to leave? And then go take some action to make it happen!

I’d love to hear from you and what resonates with you. 

So what resonated with you here? I’d love to hear from you, so pop a comment or shoot me a message.

Until next time, remember to live and lead by choice, not by chance!

Jennifer Ledet, CSP, SPHR, is a speaker, facilitator, coach, and author who works with individual leaders and with leadership teams – virtually and in-person – who are ready to roll up their sleeves, dial down their egos, and play full out to achieve real results.