When Susan came to me, she was stretched thin and stressed so close to burnout, I could see her edges starting to crisp.
Trying to hide her shame and embarrassment, she admitted that people-pleasing and lack of boundaries were causing her to feel like she was on the Hot Mess Express train to nowhere.
Susan’s situation wasn’t all that surprising to me, actually. For a couple of reasons.
- Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, shot glass, and scars to prove it, and
- When one area of your life is like a dumpster fire, the other areas of your life will be affected. (Duh. Why are we so surprised at that?) And when you up-level in any area of your life, the other areas will be impacted.
Today, I want to talk about the elephant in the room. (Shocking, I know.) There are some truths about leadership that no one ever seems to want to talk about. And the more we ignore them, the stinkier it gets. So, I’m all about airing it out. Here goes…
Truth #1: You’re one whole human being.
All aspects of your life are intertwined.
As the Chief Human Resources Officer for a large healthcare organization, Susan was not living her best life, nor was she bringing the best version of herself to work.
She’s certainly not the only one feeling this way.
Right now, we’re hearing a lot about employee burnout and the effects of the stress of the past few years.
But it often seems like leaders are expected to be above or somehow immune to the stresses and challenges felt by the employees they lead.
Truth #2: Becoming a leader does not make you superhuman!
Compounding those challenges is the fact that it can be lonely at the top, amirite? (I can hear you nodding your head as we speak.)
The Gallup Employee Engagement Survey asserts that employees should have a “best friend” at work. But what about leaders?
Whoever said it’s lonely at the top wasn’t kidding. As a leader, you can’t talk to team members about your challenges and insecurities, and you probably won’t feel comfortable talking to your boss about them either.
Truth #3: Being a leader can feel like you’re in solitary confinement.
All leaders struggle with self-doubt and insecurities of some kind and if not addressed, they’ll typically fester and affect other areas of your life, and very likely seriously impact your ability to lead effectively.
You’re still subject to common human frailties – and maybe even more susceptible because of your leadership role.
I don’t know if you’re like me, but I always assumed that once I attained a leadership title, or that long-sought-after role, I’d say buh-bye to my insecurities.
Truth #4: With new levels come new devils.
In fact, if you’re NOT feeling Imposter Syndrome on the regular it may mean that you’re getting just a leeetle too cozy and settled in your comfort zone.
Trying to solve your problems in a vacuum usually means you won’t make the best decisions.
“It’s tough to see the label when you’re in the wine bottle!”
(I didn’t coin that phrase, but I seem to relate well to wine analogies.)
So many leaders are trying to white-knuckle their way through their leadership and career journey.
Truth #5: You don’t get extra credit for doing leadership the hard way!
What you need is perspective from an outsider – someone who doesn’t have skin in the game – someone who’s not emotionally involved in the situation.
That’s where I come in. I’ve spent beaucoup years, (that’s Cajun for a LOT) working with people to help them to be more effective in their leadership roles and more fulfilled in their lives. You can call me a coach, a mentor, a guide on the side, or a sounding board. (Just don’t call me late to happy hour LOL).
Leadership coaching can have a tremendous ROI to the organization, but unfortunately, it’s sometimes perceived as an expense. And worse, it’s often seen as a last-ditch effort to salvage a manager who’s not cutting the mustard.
Truth #6: Leadership coaching is not a punishment for naughty managers.
(BTW I don’t take on these “projects.”)
If you’re not interested in continuing to learn and grow and find fulfillment and fun in your life as a whole, then you’re not a good fit for coaching with me. No judgment and no problemmo. (Yessiree you heard me right, because a leader who’s fulfilled and enjoying life is a much more effective leader.)
Update on my client, Susan: We’ve worked together for several months and I’m happy to say that Susan has become a pro at prioritizing and pruning, simplifying, and delegating. She even started a book club, which is something she’s been wanting to do. Her life is not free of challenges, but she is better equipped to deal with them now.
If you’d like a guide on the side, let’s talk! I’ve got two (2) spots open for coaching and one of them could be yours. Schedule your complimentary discovery call here.
If you’re a woman leader and you’d like to get on the waiting list for my next Women’s Leadership Collective cohort, hit reply to this email and let me know.
The fact is, ya’ll, leadership is a team sport. You were never meant to go it alone. Reaching out to get support is the first step to achieving success on your own terms.
You might also like:
The Best-Kept Secret of High Performing Teams
Lead Yourself and Your Team Out of the Land of Stuck
Jennifer Ledet, CSP, is a leadership consultant and professional speaker (with a hint of Cajun flavor) who equips leaders from the boardroom to the mailroom to improve employee engagement, teamwork, and communication. In her customized programs, leadership retreats, keynote presentations, and breakout sessions, she guides leaders to live and lead by choice, not chance.
