I had the pleasure of spending time at an Abbey recently, and it was inspirational and insightful, as well as fun and joyful.
No, I’m not considering becoming a nun or anything like that. (Just the idea of that is laughable. IYKYK) Actually, I was invited to speak at the abbey. No, not to the seminarians – they were not on campus. I worked with a group of young women who are camp counselors at a summer camp for kids.
And dang, did these young women have some wisdom! Since many had been campers themselves as children, they knew how formational the camp experience could be for the kids. And, even though they weren’t much older themselves, (ages 18-21-ish), they were committed to serving and having a lasting positive impact on the girls.
What does this have to do with leadership and you, you might ask? Well, while I went there to teach them a thing or two about leadership, I learned some amazing lessons from them. And I’ll share those with you here.
Everybody’s going through something. While true for kids away from home at summer camp, isn’t it true for adults in work and in life? Maybe it’s something really weighty like a diagnosis or a family crisis, a struggling child or aging parents. Mayhaps it’s not a huge deal, but something that’s taking up bandwidth in their brain and they’re distracted. Who knows?
But whatever it is, it’s usually not visible.
And that’s why the best policy is to lead with grace and empathy.
Everyone wants to be seen and heard. Be genuinely interested in others. My friend Fred told me that he likes starting off by asking “Tell me….” Depending on your relationship and the conversation you’re having, you might fill in the blank with
- … your favorite part of your work/day.
- … what you think about this new project/initiative/process.
- … how your family’s doing.
- … what’s a challenge for you right now.
No one sets out to do a craptacular job. If you’re going to assume anything, assume that everyone is doing the best they can at any moment. When talking to a team member about a performance issue, give them the benefit of the doubt.
No one wants to be left out. Enlarge your circle, include everyone. Invite others to lunch, happy hour, or to join your pickleball team. (I just had to throw in a reference to pickleball.)
Everybody could use more fun and laughter. I know your work is serious but remember that a sense of humor and a lighthearted approach (when used appropriately of course) can build trust and improve morale. I’ve come to realize that instead of being a weakness, my goofy sense of humor is one of my strengths.
Energy is contagious. That’s the bad news. But the good news is that as the leader you can control what kind of energy prevails in your culture. Oh, I know it can be vurry, vurry easy to get sucked into the negative vortex swirling around you. That’s why it’s important that you’re intentional about the energy you put out there.
Set the intention in the morning and before each meeting to project positive, affirming, and empathetic energy. Then, because I know some of the people you work with, (insert winking emoji), and I know their negativity can be super powerful, you’ll need to protect your own positive energy.
When it comes to projecting a positive approach, think of yourself as the thermostat. You set the temperature of the room/culture that others will follow. Lock it in!
And then to protect your energy, imagine either that you’re putting on a suit of armor or that you’re encased in an impenetrable plexiglass case. (Or use your imagination to come up with something that resonates for you.)
I know you might be skeptical as “hale” about all this woo-woo stuff (you’re thinking I’ve become Stuart Smalley from the old Saturday Night Live skits … “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.”)
But I challenge you to give this a whirl for about a month and see what happens. No, we’re not expecting the heavens to open and the angels to sing, nor should you look for miracles to happen overnight. But inch by inch it’s a cinch. (Okay maybe I am becoming Stuart Smalley after all.)
These are just a few of the lessons I took away from my time at the Abbey. I’d love to hear what lessons you’re picking up from unexpected places.
If you’re a woman in mid-career – or beyond (or know someone who is), stay tuned for upcoming announcements about my innovative women’s program. You don’t want to miss out on the early bird pricing!
You might also like:
The Best-Kept Secret of High Performing Teams
Lead Yourself and Your Team Out of the Land of Stuck
Jennifer Ledet, CSP, is a leadership consultant and professional speaker (with a hint of Cajun flavor) who equips leaders from the boardroom to the mailroom to improve employee engagement, teamwork, and communication. In her customized programs, leadership retreats, keynote presentations, and breakout sessions, she guides leaders to live and lead by choice, not chance.
