Okay, I’ll admit it – I often have trouble deciding what to order when eating out. My hubs gets just a leeetle annoyed at the fact that I’ve raised the art of hemming and hawing to a whole new level. (Insert eyeroll emoji here.)
And believe me, it’s not because I’m a picky eater. It’s usually because there are so many tempting options that I find it hard to choose. He usually says something like, “Just pick something and moveondotcom.”
The problem is that by deciding on one thing, I’m effectively eliminating all the other options.
While this is surely a first-world problem, it’s been coming up a lot in coaching sessions with clients. No, not what they should order for dinner, but rather, making the decision to follow one plan of action.
I started thinking about the word decision and remembered learning way in the way back that it has Latin roots, stemming from the Latin word “decidere,” which is a combination of two words:
de= ‘off’ +
caedere = ‘cut’
So, the word “decision” literally means to cut off from other options. Hence my difficulty in ordering from a delectable menu.
As a leader, you make decisions all day every day, right? How many decisions have you made so far today? I mean, think about it. Starting with your decision of whether to jump out of bed right away or to hit the snooze button, you make thousands of decisions in the course of just an ordinary day.
Raise your hand if you’re feeling overwhelmed with all of the things on your actual or mental to-do list… Yeah, I thought so.
Mayhaps you’re struggling from the same challenge as me? Well, okay maybe you’re not choosing between delicious options, but you ARE choosing what you’ll give your time and attention to. And I know you’ve got multiple people and projects pushing, pulling, and tugging on you.
As a leader, it can be easy to fall into the trap of trying to be all things to all people.
It’s time for you to make the decision to only do what only you can do. Cut out all the tasks that someone else can do. Sure, I know it’ll only take you a few minutes to do this or that piddly task. BUT is that the best use of YOUR time and attention at this moment?
Putting things in perspective, you might want to think about your hourly rate of pay and whether the task you’re about to spend a half-hour on is worth that kind of cost. Is there someone else who could perform that task who’s at a much lower hourly rate?
Hear me and hear me well when I say that trying to solve everyone’s problems doesn’t make you smart. It makes you burnt out.
Sorry ladies, but in my experience, this problem seems to be more prevalent with women leaders than with men. Women ARE known to be more naturally nurturing and traditionally are the caregivers of the family. Coincidence? I think not. (Yes, men are nurturing and caring too, so don’t get your knickers in a knot.)
Think about how you can empower others instead of enabling them to depend on you for everything. As I watch my sweet grandson learning to skootch and do the army crawl, it wouldn’t help him much if his parents just picked him up and carried him over to the toy he’s trying to reach. There’s nothing noble about being so in demand that you can’t ever take time off because the team can’t function without you.
That’s called being a martyr, boo, and nobody likes a martyr.
Instead of always doing for others, focus on always being there for them. Give team members (and family members) the opportunity to bounce around ideas, process their thoughts, and voice concerns. Often, they’ll come to the solution themselves, but talking through it can help.
Don’t make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions. This one can be tough for me, because I’m not naturally super analytical and have to monitor my emotions when making big decisions. (I’m also impulsive.) If you’re like me, you might try taking out a notepad and make a list of options, then list pros and cons of each.
Listen to your gut. This might sound like I’m contradicting myself, but the fact is, everything isn’t black and white and not every decision needs to be made using only logic and reason. Often your instincts and intuition are right on target, and tuning in will give you the answers you need.
Bottom line is that every ‘yes’ is effectively a ‘no’ to something else, and that’s as it should be. Know that going in and be intentional and purposeful in making that decision.
I hope these tips will help you in becoming a more effective decision-maker. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to lunch.
Speaking of which, should I have the soup or the salad? Hmmm.
If you’ve decided that you want to cultivate a more engaged team culture, I can help with that! Tell me a bit about your situation and we’ll get a discovery call scheduled.
If you’re a woman in mid-career – or beyond (or know someone who is), stay tuned for upcoming announcements about the long-awaited women’s program. You may want to be a founding member!
You might also like:
The Best-Kept Secret of High-Performing Teams
Lead Yourself and Your Team Out of the Land of Stuck
Jennifer Ledet, CSP, is a leadership consultant and professional speaker (with a hint of Cajun flavor) who equips leaders from the boardroom to the mailroom to improve employee engagement, teamwork, and communication. In her customized programs, leadership retreats, keynote presentations, and breakout sessions, she guides leaders to live and lead by choice, not chance.
