I think I’ve mentioned it a time – or ten – but I’m thissss close to finishing up my new book for women, titled Live and Lead by Choice, Not by Chance! Flourish at Any Age, Stage, and Season of Life. I’m being pretty, pretty transparent in this book, and I’m doing so in the hopes that it’ll help someone else. 

In the book I share that for much of my life, I’ve struggled to be comfortable in my own skin. I’ve talked about how I never felt that I was enough: smart enough, thin enough, confident enough, strong enough. 

I can remember feeling like no one would take me seriously because I was too young, and then I blinked and suddenly, I feel like no one will care what I have to say because I’m too old. 

Wait WUT IS HAPPENING HERE? Was I just the right age on a Tuesday in 2010 at 10:00 AM and that was the day I decided to play hooky and go to the beach?  

I’ve tried to figure out the right formula for being both feminine and strong, smart but not too brainy, outspoken but not brash, confident but not cocky, assertive, but not passive. And I certainly don’t want to be aggressive, because then I’d forever be labeled a biotch. 

I’ve often felt like Goldilocks, looking for the porridge that was jusssttt right. 

I’m happy to say that after literally years of hard work, I’m finally comfortable in my own skin. Just the fact that I’m putting this book out into the world and recording videos speaks volumes. Oh, I still have insecurities, but self-acceptance is an ongoing process.

How did I know what to do to reach this level of self-acceptance? I followed my intuition. I listened to my gut. A dragonfly landed on my shoulder and told me what to do.

Kidding. I may be an experienced leader and coach, but this was beyond my pay grade. I prayed and read a TON of books, I got coaching, and more coaching, I journaled, took courses, and I prayed some more.

Now, to be fair, I own my story. I own all of it. Yes, I’ve had circumstances that weren’t in my favor and that weren’t fair. I had my moments when I used to play the role of Poor Me and suffer from the dreaded disease of Victimitus Infinitus. 

But I also always had a choice in how I handled those circumstances and how I responded. I could have been more confident and assertive, I could have advocated for myself, and shared my accomplishments. 

Cos the thing is, allowing yourself to be seen and heard and communicating assertively is all wrapped up in self-acceptance and vice-versa. 

Have you struggled with self-acceptance and communicating assertively, too? If this is not a challenge for you, then rock what you’ve got and move on with your life.

But if finding that sweet spot between being passive and pushy is tricky for you, I’ve got a self-assessment and guide IN the BOOK to help you shine with confidence and authenticity. So you’ll need to stay tuned for announcements about when it is hot off the press this fall so you can pick up your copy. 

Assertiveness is also a topic we tackle in my Live and Lead by Choice women’s community. Our next cohort begins in September. If you’d like to learn more, visit this link. There you’ll be able to connect with me on socials so you’ll never miss my messages.

Listen, life is too dadgum short to hide and stand by silently. You don’t want that and I don’t want that for you. 

Remember to live and lead by choice, not by chance!