I could feel the frantic energy of panic and frustration. I had a wasp in my office. Now even though I’m allergic to wasps I would’ve captured it in a cup to let it go outside but it wouldn’t stop moving and banging itself against the window, the ceiling, the walls.

Ultimately, the wasp and my shoe were on a collision course… Feel free to report me to PITA if you wish. But if only the wasp would’ve relaxed and slowed down…

Ah, well, I think we can be a bit like that wasp. I know if I’m not careful my mind can spin out and I can flit around, moving in fits and starts in all different directions.

Remember that when TENSION is UP, RETENTION is DOWN. Meaning that you can’t think clearly, you can’t remember important info, (like your kids’ names or is that just me?)

And when I’m in that kind of frantic energy, banging my head against the window like the wasp, I can’t receive answers or solutions, and I can’t get anything done well.

I’ll resort to trying harder, pushing, pulling, and dragging along to get results.

In short, using brute force to move forward.

And that, ma friend, is a recipe for exhaustion and burnout.

And really when I can catch myself before I lower my shoulder to push through, I can realize/remember that I don’t need to work harder, I need to work smarter.

Maybe you’ve got some important decisions to make. Many of my clients come to me wanting clarity – they want to know for certain what to do, what action to take.

But the thing is, clarity doesn’t come before action; it’s a RESULT of TAKING action.

And I don’t mean action in the form of banging your head against the ceiling over and again. We all know the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing but expecting different results.

No, not just any action, no rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic, but strategic, aligned action.

When you feel your tension rising and that frantic feeling starting to build, here are steps that work to help me to calm down so I can find a leeetle clarity.

 

1. 1. STOP. Remember for fire drills when we were in school, they used to tell us to Stop, Drop, and Roll? Okay, the Drop and Roll part are optional. Here, I’m suggesting you stop the frantic flitting from one thing to the next and find a quiet spot. Take some deep, calming breaths.

1. 1. Ask yourself WHAT are the decisions that you’re facing. Grab a notebook and essentially do a BRAIN DUMP. Get it all out on paper.

1. 1. Ask yourself WHO can help you. For the love of all that’s holy, stop trying to go it alone. Get wise counsel – from a mentor or a frentor, or hire a coach. Please and thank you.

1. 1. Ask yourself HOW you could take even a small step that would move you in the right direction. 

1. 1. Ask yourself WHERE you could tweak and adjust and try again.  Assess the results of the action you took – think about what worked, what didn’t work so well, and what you could do differently next time.

Listen, my intention is not to scold, should, or shame you.

My goal is to simply share with you tips and techniques that have worked for me. And speaking of which….

Squee! I’m so damn excited to say that my book, Live and Lead by Choice, Not by Chance! Flourish at Any Age, Stage, and Season of Life will be launching in Q4 of ’24! Stay tuned so you can be part of the festivities and be the first to purchase when this baby is finally birthed!

Until next time, remember to live and lead by choice, not by chance!